Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Happy Birthday Tita Yna I love and miss you so much

I feel so ashamed :( how could I just forget the birthday of my Auntie Yna! hay..

Auntie Yna became my second mom or should I say third mom( my mom as 1st, my Grandma as 2nd and she as 3rd) I remember when I was small my summer vacation wouldn't be complete without visiting her and staying for some nights in their house. She has her own family, her husband though is working abroad and her only daughter Queen was 1 year old then, before Queen arrived, me and my Auntie Yna always enjoyed going to mall, spend time in the bookstore and eat chicken joy :) She's been a great mom to me. Most of my relatives says that we jive because we are physically the same- both skinny, i don't see the logic of it, but I just let them believe what they want. During those summers I got the chance to play with kids in my age, to play at outside the house, to play "piko, 10-20, basketball, soccer.." to eat street food and to walk bare footed :) it was only with her and the neighborhood I experienced being a normal child. 

The last summer I had with her, was still crystal clear in my memory, she was standing at the porch of their house, I am with my my mom and I turn back and told her "Bye Tita Yna thanks sa pringles" I will never forget her face, smiling  at me. Back then inside of me, a nagging inner voice is telling me to hug her and tell her how much I love her, but I ignored it I just let that inner voice to do its business and me to do mine, I pretend that it doesn't bothered me till we reached home, I called her to say that we're home and asked if I could eat the pringles, she then said I should share it with my sisters, and so I did. 

Few weeks after I woke up in the middle of the night hearing the voice of my mom, at first I thought I was dreaming, then the first thought of it was a voice vanished, no my mom is crying. I opened the door and tried to see what is happening, then I heard my mom saying that my tita is gone. I don't know what to do then all in my thoughts was the nagging inner voice. And that was the first time I felt regret.

Now my Aunrie Yna is in better place, far far better where she is with us, she is now at peace. And after what happened I promised that I will no longer be afraid to show people how much I love them, even how stupid I thought it will be or what others might say; Nagging inner voice will never hunt me again.

No comments: